Advice Column


Ask Mr. Muzzi

Navigating your way around a multicultural society can sometimes be confusing. Our resident multicultural liaison officer, Mr. Muzzi has a deep understanding of the sensitive issues facing today’s multicultural multicultarist’s and their respective religious and social needs irrespective of their religious and social needs. Mr. Muzzi is a shining beacon of compassion and is a fine example of Islam: the religion of peace, love, tenderness, understanding and lots of other really, really nice stuff.

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underneath the stairwell religion of peace

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dearest Mr. Muzzi,

When I wear my burqua I can’t see a damn thing and I keep banging into walls. On really hot days it is almost unbearable, would Allah (peace be upon him) be displeased if I were to go without the full face covering every once in a while?

Mr. Muzzi says :

UNCOVERED MEATS IS EATEN BY THE HUNGRY WOLVES! YOU WHOREDOG LIKE INFIDEL SLUT WITH NO BURQUA!!!!! ALLAH AKBAR ALLAH AKBARRRRR!@!!!!!!!

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underneath the stairwell religion of peace

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Mr. Muzzi,

I too am a Muslim and recently, my 4th wife told me that she didn’t like it when I raped her every night. My friends at the mosque found out and have started teasing me and calling me a Jew which is VERY insulting. Do you have any recommendations?

Mr. Muzzi says :

SHE FILTHY WOMAN NOT OBEY! CUT BITCH NOSE OFF HER FUCK FACE!!! ALLAH AKBAR!!!

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underneath the stairwell religion of peace

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Mr. Muzzi,

Considering that 181 Nobel Prizes have been awarded to Jews (pop. 12 million) as compared to 6 Nobel Prizes awarded to Muslims (pop. 1.4 billion) and that just about every major scientific discovery in the 20th century had a Jew behind it, don’t you think it is a bit hypocritical when Muslims refer to Jews as apes and pigs?

Mr. Muzzi says:

ALLAAAAAH AKBAR!!! ALLAH AKBAR!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY BOOK KORAN SAY JEW IS LIKE PIG AND APE – KORAN WRITE BY MOHAMMED(PIECE BE UPON HIMS) HE CUT 700 JEW HEAD OFF IN KORAN!!!! WE INVVENTING MANY GOOD THING LIKE SUICIDE BOMBER BELT AND IED AND FELAFEL!!! DEATH TO ISRAEL!!!!! DEATH TO AMERICA!!!!! ALLAH AKBAR!!!

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underneath the stairwell religion of peace

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Mr. Muzzi,

My wife is 11 years old and recently some racist, nazi, islamaphobic Australians accused me of being a ‘rockspider.’ Quite frankly, I am sick of the intolerant attitude in Australia to people of other cultures! Why do they hate us so much?

Mr. Muzzi says :

IT OK WIFE 11. MOHAMMED(PIECE BY UPON HIMS) HAVE WIFE AISHA 6 YEAR OLD – JUS REMEMBER CUTTING HER VAGEENA OFF WITH SCISSOR. AUSTRALIA INFIDEL KAFFIR MAN LIKE DOG!! FORNICATING AND DRINKING WITH THE ALCOHOL AND EATING DIRTY PIG!!!! CONVICT AUSSIE MAN JEALOUS OF INTELLIGENTS AND BEAUTIFUL MUSLIM CULTURE!

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