When I started up Green Ant Press in 2013 I accepted that I would have to use Facebook to advertise and promote my books. So, feeling like a Frenchman siding with the Vichy regime, I bit the bullet and activated my personal account so that I could start a business one. Not one to be accused of Luddite tendencies, I marveled at the clever use of technology that supported the platform. I bought a book on Facebook marketing and started smashing it on my business page. On my personal page, I re-connected with kids I went to school with that I hadn’t heard from in 30 years. When my posts got 100 likes, I felt that I had really achieved some sort of meaningful shit. Then I finally understood why all my friends had been banging on about it for so long.
Well, that was the ‘honeymoon’ phase and my love quickly turned to bilious hatred. I noticed distinct trends of group think and policing of language by self-appointed thought police. Before long I realized that every morning I would spend half an hour on my home page going insane at the idiotic fucking sheep that posted their infantile opinions on world politics. Anyone offering a divergent opinion was quickly ganged up on by keyboard warriors who didn’t offer a civil debate or counter argument but rather shut down the argument with shouts of ‘You’re an (xyz)phobe, cunt!’ So when Israel started attacking the fuck out of Palestine again, I ‘liked’ pictures of hot IDF chicks with machineguns. Sure, it was fun winding up politically correct ass-clowns but I always ended up feeling hollow inside when I contemplated the Orwellian nature of these virtue signalling fucktards. At nights I would lie in bed tossing and turning as visions of goose stepping Gaystapo chanting ‘Check your privilege!’ ricocheted around my head.
Then I decided to stop using my personal page and turned off all the feeds etc and concentrated on my business page which was doing well. I paid for advertising and did daily posts which proved quite popular with my literary minded audience. I did everything suggested in ‘Facebook Marketing for Dummies’ and before long had almost 5K likes. People were engaging with my posts and sharing them and my plan was to hit 5K then start trying to sell to them – reasoning that if 1 in a 100 bought a book I would be laughing. Then I could keep it up until 10K and so on. Anyways, I decided to test out my theory and offered a free eBook. My housemate was the only one who liked the post. It was then I realized that Facebook is useless for selling shit, people just like to see pretty pictures on their morning commute. So I completely disengaged from the fucking thing and concentrated on more worthwhile pursuits like trying to suck my own prick.
The recent revelations that Facebook has a bias towards Social Justice Warrior bullshit in its ‘trending’ news shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, and really, they are a private company so they can do what they like. Don’t know why they chose to lie about it though, then again it might hurt their shares if they admit to social engineering. What makes this disturbing is that most sheeple get their ‘news’ from Facebook. That’s why SJWs get their knickers in a twist about which dunnies trannies squirt their diarrhea in whilst the world fuckin’ burns. FB is nothing more than anti-intellectual group think pandering to a bunch of cry- bully fucktards. Nevertheless, people keep telling me about great social media fings like Twitter and Instagram and being a sucker for peer group pressure, I eventually caved in and started an Insty account. My plan was to take a picture of my housemate’s Bull Terrier’s prick every day with a motivational quote to help cunts out. Oh shit, maybe I am turning into a fuckin’ Social Justice Warrior!
Check out some of my stand out posts from my now unused Instagram account below:
Membership has its privileges. 4XLEX: You can bloody chuck that card out now! 5YRUPLOVER: wiped off and good as new! 4XLEX: Haha spray n wipe? 5YRUPLOVER: nope, tongue.